Sunday, May 30, 2010

Stash Buster

Haven't posted about knitting lately... I have been busy though! Working on a stash buster receiving blanket. Stash buster means I'm only using stashed yarn, so no going out and buying new yarn for this one. Fan and Feather, 4 lines of color, soft acrylic baby yarn.





Trip to the Beach

Took R. to the beach at Ft. Fisher yesterday, we had a really good time. I was nervous about taking him on that kind of trip alone, because he's such a wild man and rarely obeys me. But he did well. We played in the sand a good bit, until the water had calmed down and we were able to go out into the ocean and splash and play. Once he got over his initial fear, he loved being in the water and didn't want to get out, even though he was cold and tired. My legs are sore and exhausted from chasing him up and down the beach in the loose sand. We got sand on every inch of everything we brought with us, and in every crevice of our bodies. I'm still picking it out of my hair and from behind my ears. I wish it was just a little closer. 2hours to Wilmington, 2.5 hours to Ft. Fisher. We're talking about going camping down there for a week when J. comes home.



And speaking of that... I'm starting to feel like this 6 weeks apart is going to be good for J. and I. I'm really gaining a lot of confidence in myself. I've been taking care of everything, and handling it all pretty well. The yard looks good, and the garden is doing well. I've taken care of R. and his injury, kept the house clean, laundry done, dishes, etc. And J. is missing us terribly. I think he will come home appreciating me a lot more, when he used to take a lot that I do for granted. He's been much sweeter and nicer on the phone than usual. He keeps telling me how much he misses my cooking and how lonely he is. How much he needs me, how beautiful I am... certainly haven't heard that in a long time.
This is the end of week 3, so we are now half way through. R.'s behavior is a little better, but we're still having a big issue with him hitting me. Hard. With whatever he happens to be playing with at the moment. Last night he slammed a drawer from the field desk down on my foot. Today it was a plastic spoon to the arm. Usually it's his big plastic train. I'm just not sure what to do about it. It's really unacceptable though.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Our First Trip to the ER

Of course this would happen while daddy is gone. Murphy's Law or something. R. burned his hand on the oven rack last night. It had been baking at 450, and he reached out and grabbed the rack while I was taking dinner out. Once we were able to get the pain knocked down a notch or two, and I got him calmed, we trundled up to the ER to have it looked at and get some first aid supplies. Silverdine cream, and bandages. He's got a blister the size of a grape on his palm, and a smaller one on his thumb.

the big blister last night:

the bandage this morning:

Saturday, May 22, 2010

End of week 2, and OMG, it couldn't come soon enough. This has been a really rough week. Today has probably been the best day of the week so far, in terms of R's behavior and my coping skills. He boycotted his nap, and that makes me worried about tonight. I really kicked it at the gym this morning, and this afternoon I could really have used the quiet time, or a nap myself. No way that's happening now. He's really revved up.
This has been a bad week in terms of stress eating too. I've been trying to counter it by being really active and getting lots of exercise. But when it comes down to it, I would rather eat chocolate than exercise when I am feeling stressed and worn out. I do like the way I feel after I exercise, but it's usually no fun while I'm at it. I've also been trying to do a lot of positive visualization, although I can't tell that it's helping all that much. I have been doing awesome on my water drinking this week though, I feel like I might float away. Or that I should just camp out in the bathroom because I have to pee constantly. I've been drinking 80-100oz of water just during my workouts. It's nice because it gives me a 60-90 second break to go and refill my water bottle and stretch a bit. No gym tomorrow, but if the weather is nice, I'm going to take R. to the park in the morning and that will be a work out in itself. Hopefully we are meeting a friend there, that will make it a little less lonely.
Really missing J. this afternoon. Need one of his hugs.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Up and Down Day

Today started out horrible. No sleep again last night. Grumpy, defiant, snotty toddler. But once I finally got him down for a nap, I went outside and triumphed over my lawn! I was able to figure out how to use the weed whacker, so I got the garden trimmed up, AND I got the front yard mowed, including the strip along the outside of the hedge. It was good exercise, and I feel so proud of myself for getting it done.

I've also started using this site called sparkpeople.com to help me track what I eat, and how much I exercise, to help me get my weight loss goals back on track. So far I haven't had any trouble staying in the calorie/carb/fat/protein guidelines they set up, and I exceeded the exercise goal today, which was great. I'm not using their meal plans, because baby and I have food allergies, and I like being able to pick and choose whatever I want.

I got beans, potatoes, and a zucchini out of the garden today! Plus lettuce for a salad tonight with dinner. WFD: new potatoes and green beans, fresh salad, salmon patties.


Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Period found me again this month. Boo :( Looks like now we won't get to try again until late June/early July.

R. hasn't been sleeping well the last 3 days and it's taking it's toll on me. I feel really run down today. He's not napping again, after two wonderful months of afternoon naps. So that means I get NO break from him all day. And he's been up and down all night the last two nights. Today he got up insanely early and wouldn't go back to sleep. He's had massive amounts of snot for days now, from teething and allergies. But on the bright side he's learning so, so, soo many new words right now, it's incredible. Yesterday he picked up horse, pig, cow, and chicken. Can you tell we've been reading about farm animals? The day before it was frog, and rain. Right now he's standing at the back door, poking cheerios out the crack for our chickens and they are mobbing them! It's absolute cuteness!

Sunday, May 16, 2010

One Week Down, Five to Go

I have a confession, I have only really cooked once this week (PF Chang's Orange Chicken, mmmm). I've been eating frozen stuff most of the week, or like last night I broke down and ordered Papa Johns. I've GOT to get back into the swing of cooking, but it's been so hard with J. gone. R. doesn't eat much, and mostly he likes rice cakes with hummus, cheese, apples, things that I don't have to cook. I'm just not that motivated to cook a whole meal for myself, then have to clean it up too. I know I should be doing better.

My house is a mess, I have people coming over for a playdate tomorrow, and I am so unmotivated to clean. I also really need to mow parts of the yard soon. Maybe today while R. naps. His naps are my only me time, and I always end up spending them racing around to get stuff down, then being exhausted at the end of the day. Yesterday it took me 50 minutes to get him down for a nap, then he only slept for an hour. Usually it's a lot easier, but I got almost nothing done during that time.

BFN this morning, but AF isn't due until tomorrow. Sooooo, waiting again this weekend. Reeeally hoping for a BFP this time, but trying not to get myself all psyched up like last month. No pms'y symptoms, but I haven't felt pregnant either. No spotting of any kind.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

So far this week has been kinda slow. We've been playing outside a lot. I made R. a homemade sand box out of a shallow storage bin, he thinks it's fabulous!

We've been tending the garden, I have two baby squash, and one zucchini. Handfulls of ripe strawberries every day, and the cantaloupe plants are getting bigger.
J. will be arriving in TX today, after 4 long days on the road. Class starts tomorrow. We've been talking to him every day, which has been nice. So far, we're getting along ok without him. But it's hard doing everything I normally do, plus the stuff that he takes care of on a daily basis. Still dreading the yard work.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

byebye da

said goodbye this morning. trying not to wallow. the house feels too empty, too quiet. It was really hard this morning when R kept looking out the window, asking about da. I can't think about it too much or I get teary again. Right now it feels like a week day, and we're just waiting on him to come home from work. I turn my head when I hear a car door, even though I know it's just a neighbor, and not my husband. Resisting the urge to call. We're going to have pizza and a movie night with some of our friends tonight, maybe that will cheer me up.

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Feeling a little down this week, Joe's leaving this weekend for a school in TX for 6 weeks, and it will just be me and kido. Well, and the chickens and the dogs, which means we can't travel much while he's gone. It's so lonely here when he's not home. The days are ok, but nights and weekends are almost unbearable. Our daily schedule revolves so much around daddy that without him here, I'm just at a loss as to how to operate. Last time he was gone for an extended period of time was before I had the baby, so I was able to take care of things like the lawn/garden without trying to manage a toddler. How am I going to mow and use the weedeater and watch a toddler at the same time???? I can't let the yard go that long, the fenced in garden area is already looking shaggy and he isn't even gone yet. *sigh* I'm just feeling a little overwhelmed by it all right now.

This week we celebrated our one year anniversary as chicken keepers, which is pretty cool. I've been picking strawberries every day out of the garden, and there are dozens of blackberries ripening on the bushes. Our squash and zucchini are beginning to flower! Very exciting!

We gave TTC a good try this cycle, before he leaves. I've been a bit more, um, proactive this time. used opk's and tried the whole 'cup thing'. i really hope it takes this time! Another week or so before I can really test with any hope of accuracy.

I'm trying to night-wean the baby, and that's been hard, but i have to set some boundaries here, for my own sanity. it's slowly getting better i think. We have some good nights now, instead of all bad. We're not nursing between 12 and 5AM, the goal being to get him to stop waking up twice between those times. Sometimes he wakes, sometimes not. it's about 50/50 right now. Naps are getting better and longer too. i can actually lay him down and get stuff done, or even just have some *gasp* quiet time.

I'm giving up on car hunting for a while, maybe we can just get the AC fixed on the saturn and keep plugging along with it for a while. We've been hot and miserable already, and it's just early May.