Tuesday, July 2, 2013

in the stillness

Normally my day goes something roughly like this: Kids get up early, go hard all day, bed for them at 7, talk to J online all evening until bed, when he calls, sleep.  Tonight he's busy with other stuff.  I've had a whole 3 hours of complete quiet and solitude.  No one needing my attention or requiring anything of me at all.  It's been strangely pleasant.  As much as I do miss him, tonight I am feeling sort of... content maybe?  It's hard to put my finger on exactly what it is.  I think I'm enjoying just being myself for a few hours.  Not mommy, not wife.  Just me.  Very often I forget what that is like.  That person I was before wife, and before mommy.  It's sort of like, "oh, hello stranger.  are you still in there?"  In the quiet stillness, I heard her whispered answer.  I've been struggling a bit lately with some feelings of identity loss.  It's nice to know she's still with me.

No comments:

Post a Comment